PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Way Back

I was recently visited by a young stonemason (that is, a stonemason, not a stoned mason), who mentioned something about his training “back in the day.” He didn’t look old enough to have an actual period in his life that could be called “back in the day,” but you couldn’t say the same for me, and suddenly I was transported to my very own “back in the day,” when I worked at Mass General Hospital as a young 20-something, some 100 years ago.

I was a brain surgeon back then. I’d cut into people’s heads to fix aneurisms and so forth, and occasionally would screw with people’s minds by performing a little sneaky rewiring, as a kind of practical joke. It was hilarious to visit patients afterward and see them try to drink from a cup of water but instead pour the water over their heads or throw it into their faces. (Don’t worry – I’d always fix it later, for a relatively small fee.)

When I wasn’t performing high-end brain surgery, I was ordering supplies, making photocopies, and answering phones for the cardiac unit. I’d get calls from vendors about bills, and sometimes from lab personnel calling in sick. “Cough, hack, achoo! Tell Dr. Stragglebeard that I’ve got the dreaded cantankervirus, and I’m very contagious.”

One guy always used to tell me when his wife had diarrhea. “Can you tell Jerry that I have to take care of the kids today? It’s my wife: she’s throwing up, diarrhea, whole bit.” I heard this often over my tenure. When he called in sick, diarrhea was often involved.

I was made to tell his boss these details each time. The throwing up. And the diarrhea.

Now you understand what life was like back in the day. Wasn’t pretty, that’s for sure.

Continue reading
  1534 Hits

 

 

Daily Haiku

 

Cats oft’ void their guts.

They cough out fur balls. They puke.  

We tread carefully.  

 

College Tuition

We dig ourselves a deep hole

Need a second job.

 

Now that I’m sixty

People think I’m a wise man

Probably, I’m not

 

I’m in my Fifties

But tomorrow I’m Sixty

Will need a sports car

 

My PCP Says

“Keep doin’ what yer doin’”

Prob’ly I should not

 

It’s St. Patrick’s Day

We eat beef that has been corned

Whatever that means

 

Robots and A.I.

I will make use of these soon

To do my taxes

 

Strange Oscar night end

Pacino failed to mention

Best pic nominees

 

Who’s this Katie Britt?

Scary. Wierd. We could have used

A Trigger Warning

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

Big Shoes soapbox rantings Skiing cornhole Eclipse Bikes My Estate Me punk music plan mid-winter vacations Yeast Reveillon First World Problems COVID-19 Mom and Dad Higher Education Royal Stuff Pats Existential Crisis New England Europe Things I've done My sisters Butterfingers Climate Change Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Hawaii Vaccines Tom Waits Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Guns and Ammo China Spoon the band Earth Ketchup Elvis Presley Real Estate Advertising Biden the future Places I've been to The future College Hand Planes Stories I should write Imaginings Wind 1980s TV Peacekeeping Masks Folk Music nukes Football Ice Dancing War and Peace Sugarbush Fiction BB King Snow Guns Grass Skiing Politics As Usual England Drumming Texting curling shoes coronavirus Bill Monroe Hache Verde Good Reads Canadiana Cats baseball NPR Teeth Religion Roommates I've Had Short Fiction Diseases Bands I haven't seen Audubon Bar Communication Channels Belgian Ales When I die Syracuse Scotch and Sirloin Peter Paul and Mary Liz Phair My grandparents Halloween Audio My Parents Hot Air Balloon Barber Shops NFL Red Sox Coyotes Bicycles Little League Car Dealerships US Senate Bands I've Seen Cornhole star Hurricanes The Past Plastic afterlife Quebect Email Godfather winter Motorists Bodysurfing Food the sea Dad advice Soviet Union COVID Chowder Vaughn Marketing Gimmicks technology Ticketmaster vacation Head injuries Skating town square Theater Sports Psychology Them Kids Eating and Drinking Golf Boston Zoom high winds Rabbit Hole Mass General Hospital Mike Doughty The Future Cars tambourrine Beer Accounting The Old Days Martinis Weather People I know Knots Soup Brain Surgery Brewing Stairs Rock Bands Work Spice Girls Radiohead Joan Jett Bunker acerbic high school principal Smoke Meat Sports Emergencies Putin Canada gathering throngs Allergies Soul Coughing midwinter vacations Soccer Music Christmas Candy Mustard Bob Dylan weather Bands I've seen Trump Art Ukraine seasons