PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Dr. Hand Plane To Hawaii. Stat!

Years ago, I found myself in Hawaii -- never a bad place in which to find oneself -- and as often happens when you’re in Hawaii, I soon found myself on a beach. Well, wouldn’t you know it, suddenly there were waves, so I got in the water to give those waves a piece of my mind, and the next thing I knew I was wet. Great! Now what?

It seemed like a good time to body surf, which I consider myself to be a master of. Body surfing is great because you don’t need any of the fancy accessories that surfers and boogie boarders require, just your own blubbery ol’ naked body. (Full disclosure: it's not really legal to body surf naked at this juncture in human history).

And, in my case, that was pre-COVID blubber (so don’t ask what I look like now). Anyway, there I was, all wet, riding the waves with my hot (and yet blubbery) body, totally sans equipment, and the next thing I know a bodysurfer is coming at me at the speed of a large Hawaiian wave (which is very fast!). Except this particular body surfer was employing surfboards strapped to both hands. No kidding!

OK, they were mini surfboards, about the size of dinner plates, and had a name: “hand planes”! (Not to be confused with the kind of hand plane used to smooth out wood). Suddenly, here was yet another device I could purchase. Not quite as ridiculously expensive as getting a surfboard, but ridiculous enough to cost $150. So, really, is this the kind of dust-collecting device that I should spend yet more of my hard-earned money on, knowing that I’ll only use it when I’m in Hawaii, once in a blue moon?

Um, yes.

Continue reading
  1139 Hits

 

 

Daily Haiku

 

Cats oft’ void their guts.

They cough out fur balls. They puke.  

We tread carefully.  

 

College Tuition

We dig ourselves a deep hole

Need a second job.

 

Now that I’m sixty

People think I’m a wise man

Probably, I’m not

 

I’m in my Fifties

But tomorrow I’m Sixty

Will need a sports car

 

My PCP Says

“Keep doin’ what yer doin’”

Prob’ly I should not

 

It’s St. Patrick’s Day

We eat beef that has been corned

Whatever that means

 

Robots and A.I.

I will make use of these soon

To do my taxes

 

Strange Oscar night end

Pacino failed to mention

Best pic nominees

 

Who’s this Katie Britt?

Scary. Wierd. We could have used

A Trigger Warning

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

the sea My grandparents Pats Reveillon Religion Mom and Dad My Estate The future Guns and Ammo Eclipse Canadiana Plastic Joan Jett Soul Coughing Texting Boston Godfather curling shoes Diseases Good Reads Marketing Gimmicks My sisters Bill Monroe soapbox rantings Me Chowder Vaughn Stories I should write Spice Girls Yeast College People I know Bodysurfing Advertising Stairs Cars Europe Royal Stuff NPR Art high winds Bands I haven't seen Skating Allergies Real Estate Climate Change Drumming Mustard Folk Music The Old Days Bands I've seen Ticketmaster Cats Barber Shops Politics As Usual Big Shoes Spoon the band Rock Bands Car Dealerships cornhole Cornhole star Butterfingers gathering throngs acerbic high school principal Sugarbush NFL nukes Beer Masks Earth Communication Channels Bands I've Seen Existential Crisis 1980s technology Audubon Bar First World Problems Email punk music Short Fiction Ice Dancing Brain Surgery Mike Doughty Peacekeeping Hot Air Balloon COVID Christmas Rabbit Hole Tom Waits Coyotes Soccer Soup Soviet Union Syracuse Skiing TV Food Mass General Hospital afterlife Audio Football The Future Ukraine Roommates I've Had Wind Hurricanes seasons Red Sox town square coronavirus Vaccines Hand Planes Head injuries Work Elvis Presley Canada Bob Dylan the future New England Putin Emergencies Hawaii plan mid-winter vacations War and Peace Brewing Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Imaginings Trump Bicycles When I die Halloween weather winter US Senate Ketchup The Past Sports Weather Things I've done BB King COVID-19 Hache Verde Golf Music Higher Education China Accounting tambourrine Knots Eating and Drinking Radiohead Zoom Snow Guns Belgian Ales vacation baseball Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Scotch and Sirloin Martinis Teeth Quebect Them Kids midwinter vacations Biden Liz Phair Bikes My Parents Fiction Dad advice Theater Bunker Grass Skiing Motorists Candy