PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

My Musings

This text is currently hidden by a css change. Alow's me to go directly to the category description because it is editable in the front end,

Dr. Hand Plane To Hawaii. Stat!

Years ago, I found myself in Hawaii -- never a bad place in which to find oneself -- and as often happens when you’re in Hawaii, I soon found myself on a beach. Well, wouldn’t you know it, suddenly there were waves, so I got in the water to give those waves a piece of my mind, and the next thing I knew I was wet. Great! Now what?

It seemed like a good time to body surf, which I consider myself to be a master of. Body surfing is great because you don’t need any of the fancy accessories that surfers and boogie boarders require, just your own blubbery ol’ naked body. (Full disclosure: it's not really legal to body surf naked at this juncture in human history).

And, in my case, that was pre-COVID blubber (so don’t ask what I look like now). Anyway, there I was, all wet, riding the waves with my hot (and yet blubbery) body, totally sans equipment, and the next thing I know a bodysurfer is coming at me at the speed of a large Hawaiian wave (which is very fast!). Except this particular body surfer was employing surfboards strapped to both hands. No kidding!

OK, they were mini surfboards, about the size of dinner plates, and had a name: “hand planes”! (Not to be confused with the kind of hand plane used to smooth out wood). Suddenly, here was yet another device I could purchase. Not quite as ridiculously expensive as getting a surfboard, but ridiculous enough to cost $150. So, really, is this the kind of dust-collecting device that I should spend yet more of my hard-earned money on, knowing that I’ll only use it when I’m in Hawaii, once in a blue moon?

Um, yes.

Continue reading
  1193 Hits

 

 

Daily Haiku

 

Cats oft’ void their guts.

They cough out fur balls. They puke.  

We tread carefully.  

 

College Tuition

We dig ourselves a deep hole

Need a second job.

 

Now that I’m sixty

People think I’m a wise man

Probably, I’m not

 

I’m in my Fifties

But tomorrow I’m Sixty

Will need a sports car

 

My PCP Says

“Keep doin’ what yer doin’”

Prob’ly I should not

 

It’s St. Patrick’s Day

We eat beef that has been corned

Whatever that means

 

Robots and A.I.

I will make use of these soon

To do my taxes

 

Strange Oscar night end

Pacino failed to mention

Best pic nominees

 

Who’s this Katie Britt?

Scary. Wierd. We could have used

A Trigger Warning

 

Subscribe To The Blog

Produce This Audio Play!

Ever wanted to produce a radio play?  Think you have the mettle?  Read on!

Tag Cloud

Bands I've seen Politics As Usual Roommates I've Had baseball Diseases Art Sports Canadiana Higher Education acerbic high school principal Butterfingers Hawaii gathering throngs Car Dealerships Bands I haven't seen Stories I should write Teeth Marketing Gimmicks nukes BB King Elvis Presley Chowder Vaughn Eclipse Food Halloween My Parents Mike Doughty Allergies Trump Snow Guns Boston Cornhole star NPR Wind Hand Planes Ketchup Bikes the sea seasons Putin Sports Psychology Candy Reese's Peanut Butter Cups China My Estate Motorists Emergencies Audio Godfather tambourrine the future Skiing Plastic Mom and Dad weather The Old Days Brain Surgery Skating COVID-19 Cats Tom Waits Royal Stuff Football Soccer Sugarbush Dad advice plan mid-winter vacations punk music Hot Air Balloon Scotch and Sirloin When I die Cars Peter Paul and Mary Bill Monroe Bunker Spice Girls Soviet Union The future Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Christmas Reveillon Earth The Past The Future Brewing College Mass General Hospital Spoon the band Peacekeeping Existential Crisis Me Hache Verde Soup Email Things I've done Bicycles Ticketmaster Beer Liz Phair Religion Accounting Joan Jett My sisters Imaginings curling shoes Music Mustard Real Estate Zoom People I know town square Them Kids Climate Change coronavirus Grass Skiing Pats Rabbit Hole Big Shoes Red Sox First World Problems Folk Music Rock Bands Work War and Peace New England Stairs Coyotes midwinter vacations Biden Ukraine Syracuse COVID Bob Dylan Texting Quebect Drumming Advertising Communication Channels My grandparents Knots TV Barber Shops cornhole NFL Radiohead England 1980s Ice Dancing Yeast Smoke Meat Golf Places I've been to Bodysurfing high winds Fiction US Senate Martinis Eating and Drinking Masks winter Good Reads Belgian Ales Little League Head injuries Bands I've Seen technology Theater Hurricanes soapbox rantings afterlife Weather Canada Vaccines Guns and Ammo Short Fiction vacation Soul Coughing Europe Audubon Bar