PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Monumental

People often ask my agents how many statues I own. Like my agents are really going to answer that question! Of course, their non-answers cause the imagination of the average person to run wild with possibilities. Rumors get started about the large number of monuments to past historical figures I have erected right there in my backyard, and which of them I’m going to get rid of at bargain basement prices.

“I’ve heard he’s got statues of Jean-Claude Killy and Raymond Flynn!”

Sorry, not selling those so just get the idea out of your head. Anyway, most people have their own statues of Ray Flynn. Or at least one or two statuettes, or a bobblehead, or just an old cracked wallet photo.

But the fake lies of the news media make it seem like I’m the only person in the world to have life sized statues of both Bill Clinton and George Clinton in his garden. Yeah, right! I’d like to go into the backyards of some these reporters and see who they're honoring. Probably war heros who really aren't war heros at all because they got captured.  In fact I bet you'd find some very bad people being honored. On both sides.

Not to change the subject, but have I told you that my winery is one of the largest in the country?

Talking Bunts
Backup Plan
 

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Sunday, 26 September 2021

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