PATRICK MCVAY

WRITER

Late Apologies

Like almost every person who’s ever had an adolescence, I spent my teen years making incredibly inane statements in the classroom about complicated literature and genocidal megalomaniacs, then returning home to do incredibly inane things with precious family valuables, like expensive vases.

Except my family didn’t own any precious vases. So does that mean, by extension, that I’m exaggerating my penchant for making inane statements in the classroom?

No, not really. My high school teachers can vouch for my inanity. Meanwhile, my long-deceased parents might have noted somewhere in a journal that we did in fact own non-vase valuables, one of which (the Ford Granada) I crashed into the other (the Chevy Impala Wagon). So despite our lack of vases, I was able to do incredibly inane things with family valuables anyway.

Sorry Mom and Dad!

Let Me Be Perfectly Clear
Freak Out
 

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Sunday, 26 September 2021

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